It’s Not You, It’s Me.

Brian and I have been married for almost nine years. We have been through three moves, countless job changes, earning our Masters degrees, an adoption, two births, deaths in our families, and mental and physical health issues of our own. This week when we were reflecting on our marriage, we determined that a crucial element of what it means to have a healthy marriage is this: taking ownership over our own self-centeredness.

Pastor Brad has been preaching on marriage for several weeks now and will do so again this Sunday. He has given credit to Pastor Tim Keller and his book The Meaning of Marriage for the content found in his sermons. I am now over one third of the way through this book and my favorite part thus far is found in a chapter entitled “The Power of Marriage.” In a section labeled “Confronting Our Own Self-Centeredness,” Keller starts out with 2 Corinthians 5:15:

And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

This death to self is crucial to sustaining a healthy marriage. On page 64 Keller goes on to talk about a “truce-marriage” wherein which we attempt to avoid the things we dislike about our spouse in order to create harmony in our relationship. I think what he says here about marriage relates to any worthy relationship; friendships, familial relationships, etc.:

The alternative to this truce-marriage is to determine to see your own selfishness as a fundamental problem and to treat it more seriously than you do your spouse’s. Why? Only you have complete access to your own selfishness, and only you have responsibility for it.

Reading this quote gave me an “a-ha moment” as to why my marriage to Brian has seemed so much healthier over the years. When we recognize we are sinners in need of confronting our own self-centeredness, we come to the conclusion that we must focus on what we can change about ourselves more than what our spouse can change about themselves. My charge for us, Faith Family, is to think on:

It’s not you, it’s me.

Although this phrase is a cliché, let’s consider flipping the script on it and dig into our own self-centeredness before placing blame or attempting to create change where we see fit in our marriages, friendships, etc. Taking on this sacrificial posture of examining our own self-centeredness and dying to self as Christ died for us will lead us to a deeper, healthier intimacy in our relationships with one another.

Until Sunday!


Here’s What’s Happening at Faith

Youth Summer Kick-Off

June 15, 3pm-7pm. Come to celebrate the beginning of summer with the youth group. All students going into grades 6-12 are welcome. Meet in room 150 for lots of fun games, fellowship, and BBQ.

Legacy Chapel Commissioning Service & Dinner

Join us on June 19 as we dedicate our newly renovated Legacy Chapel.  Through music, prayer, shared memories, and words of commissioning, we’ll celebrate the beautiful and fruitful years of ministry that have shaped Faith Covenant’s enduring legacy. This will be a night of both remembrance and future hope. Dinner will be provided at 6pm followed by the dedication service at 6:45pm.  RSVP by June 16 on Realm.

Garage Sale for Missions-VOLUNTEERS NEEDED

Faith’s All-Church Garage Sale is July 18-20. All proceeds will go to the MOMS Program. Help this sale be a success by gathering donations at home and/or volunteering! Sign-up to volunteer for set-up, clean-up, and working the day of the sale at the Information Desk during these Sunday Services: June 16, 23, and 30. Donations for the sale will be accepted Sunday, July 14, 12-5pm and Monday, July 15, 4-8pm. Drop off at lower level. Do not leave donations at church at other times. Questions? Contact Kathryn at

Annual Meeting-June 23

All are invited to attend a congregational business meeting June 23 following the 10:30 service. This is an opportunity to hear about the ministry we are doing here together. Members will also vote on new council members and the 2019-20 fiscal year budget.

All Church Retreat

Registration is now open for the Faith Covenant All-Church Retreat at Covenant Pines Bible Camp, Aug 23-25. It will be a weekend of relaxation, inspiration, fellowship and fun! Register on RealmBaptism will be offered in Round Lake during the retreat, contact the office for more information.

Discovery Bible Experience Training

Learn to hear God’s voice this summer through a season long, personal exploration of Psalm 119. Training in the simple, but powerful process of Discovery Bible Experience will happen Sunday, June 9 at 9:00 AM in room 200.

Power Up Kids Camp (VBS)

Power Up Kid’s Camp is coming up soon! June 24-27, 9am-noon, for elementary children entering K-5 for the 2019-2020 school year. Cost is $15, which includes a t-shirt, snacks, and materials. Register today to ensure correct t-shirt size. Volunteers: we still need at least 6-8 more folks to serve our kids. To register a child or to volunteer click here.

MUUUCE-August 1-3

MUUUCE stands for “The Most Unbelievable, Ultimate, Urban, Camping Experience”. This high-energy, fast-moving, multi-day event is designed to give 6-9th graders a chance to connect with Christ and their peers. Save the date! For info, go to

Bible Memorization Challenge

Pastor Brad issued a challenge to our Faith Family in 2017 and would like us to take this challenge once again: to memorize 52 Bible verses in 52 weeks for 2019. These verses will be posted each week in this Faith Update blog and will be in the worship folder each Sunday. To see a full list of verses so you can practice adding a new one each week while keeping up with those you have already learned, click HERE. The verse for the week is this: He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit. Titus 3:5